The Twinkie Thief

Box of Twinkies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In memory of an American icon that died this day, I relate the following (true) account that highlights just what Twinkies mean to me...

I lived in the Dominican Republic, most of the time in the campo (I guess what you would call the countryside or the provinces.) I spent two years there doing the work of the Lord. I taught people the gospel, I served in their fields, I helped clean up after hurricanes and tropical storms, I helped build houses, I taught people to read, and so much more. It was highly rewarding. However, there was very little comfort. I ate beans and rice and drank Coke (or Pepsi) with every meal (my mantra: nothing can live inside of a Coke bottle.) I only had the occasional treat and it was usually a treat made locally and sold on the street.

My favorite treat growing up has always been the Twinkie. I love Twinkies. In all of that island where worked, I never found anything that even came close to that golden sponge-cake filled with cream. I dreamed of Twinkies...I longed for Twinkies-- but the country had no Twinkies for a hungry young man to consume.

By the end of my service as a missionary, I had not eaten a Twinkie for two years. I told my missionary companions about how much I missed Twinkies. Of course it goes without saying that I told  Elder Nelsen of my love for Twinkies and how I missed them. We worked together for a few months in a town called San Geronimo. Elder Nelson went home six months before me …and he promised to send me a box of Twinkies. I understood, though, that once a guy leaves the mission field, it is hard to fulfill such promises. So I was not surprised when I never received a box of Twinkies.

The night before I went home I was back in the capital. One of the missionaries who worked as an assistant to the mission President (Elder West) and I were walking around the town. We had both come out together, and we were leaving on the plane together in the morning. We were good friends, and this night was our last night on the island.

We ran into a bunch of other missionaries who were sitting outside a corner café. Some of them were very new, and I had not yet met them. Elder West introduced me to the other missionaries, and one of them instantly perked up.

“Justus you say? Elder Justus who served in San Geronimo?” he asked as he shook my hand.

“Yeah.” I answered.

“I have to tell you that you received a package a couple of months ago. We had never heard of you, so we opened it. It was a box of Twinkies.” He said. “We were so happy that we ate them all.”

I just stared at him…waiting for his heartfelt apology. It never came. This was a clearly unrepentant missionary boasting to me of his thievery. For those that may not realize it yet, repentance has certain rules and steps to follow:

1. Recognize that you sinned
2. Feel Godly sorrow for your sin
3. Make amends to those that were wronged by your sin
4. Promise to never repeat that sin again

We went door to door, house to house, every day teaching this to people. This man knew that he sinned….and that is where it ended. He never felt bad about stealing from me. He never even apologized. His repentance was incomplete. He risked his immortal soul-- over Twinkies.

“So that’s it?” I asked, “No apology or anything?”

“No, I’m not even sorry—they were so good.” he said laughing as he walked away.

One day that man, and those who also ate my Twinkies, will stand before God to be judged in this life. I work every day to forgive them. It really hurt me that they would steal from me like that and then go away and teach others the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Hypocrites! At that judgment day, unless I hear from them, I will stand as a witness to their hypocrisy and thievery. My testimony will thrust them down to Hell.

Now the company that makes Twinkies (Hostess) is going out of business. Those men will never have the opportunity to fully repent. Without a Twinkie in the world, they cannot make a full restitution. How can I properly forgive them without savoring one more Twinkie. I never knew that my last Twinkie would be my LAST Twinkie.

That is the story of the Twinkie thief. I work every day to forgive them of their sin against me, a fellow servant of God. Why would you steal a man's Twinkies? Why?

RIP TWINKIES

1930 - 2012