Thursday, March 18, 2010

What I Gained by Losing

Something happened over the past twenty years. Not overnight, or all of the sudden, or in the twinkling of an eye…no it took place slowly, unnoticed at first, until one day the realization came to me: I weighed 278 pounds. I had gotten fat. For a long while I walked around harboring that knowledge, hoping that no one else noticed. I ignored the looks that I got when I had to ask for handicap seating at the Pepsi Center because the designers did not factor in my keister when they built the arena. I turned a deaf ear to suppressed comments when I squeezed past people in the movie theater. I was sure that I hid my bulk well under my oversized sweaters and baggy pants. No one could possibly suspect my shameful little secret.

In the process of gaining all of the weight, I lost a few things as well: self confidence, and pride in my own presentation. I had dreams of being an actor—and not a fat character actor. No, I felt that my dashing good looks could land me a leading man role…or at least a leading man’s good looking, yet goofy, friend. I sang in a band and thought that we could make it big one day. Though I expressed them outwardly, I threw away dreams of stardom. On top of all of that, doctors diagnosed me in 1999 with multiple sclerosis—with the loss of co-ordination, feeling, and strength to my legs I could never sustain a rigorous “Biggest Loser” workout regimen. I had no chance of losing the weight.

In March of 2009 my younger brother, Larry, met with the counselors at Slimgenics (formerly Slim-4-Life). I went to talk with the counselors because I didn’t want anyone taking my brother for a ride and stealing his money. I had secretly tried it all, anyway, and nothing worked. I failed at Adkins. I flunked out of Weight Watchers. I sunk the South Beach Diet. I proved that Body for Life did not work on the average guy. I was sure that whatever fake-food diet that came along would ultimately fail, so I came to listen and decline on my brother’s behalf.

After a 30 minute question and answer session, I had the feeling that this might work for Larry. Even if he only lost 70 or 80 pounds, it might be enough to build up his confidence. I came out of that meeting thinking that Larry really needed what Slimgenics had to offer, but he couldn’t do it alone. So I selflessly offered to do this program with him for a while to help him get on-plan and get healthy.

Over the first 6 months I followed the plan and stubbornly clung to my belief that this diet might work a little bit for Larry, but it wouldn’t work for me: I had gotten too big to ever be “skinny” again in my life. I watched the scale inch its way downward. Then one morning, six months into the plan, I woke up and did the math: 70 pounds. I didn’t starve. I couldn’t work out consistently. I had done nothing to lose so much weight except keep the plan as the counselors at Slimgenics had taught me. I needed new clothes.

I went from wearing a size 48 waist to a size 38. I could buy off the rack, and things actually fit. I walked around with a smile on my face and in my heart. Unlike getting fat, the skinny seemed to happen overnight, all of the sudden, in the twinkling of an eye. And that quickly I had gained the confidence that I had previously lost. I wanted to wear nice clothes again, comb my hair, and shave my face more than once a week. I cared what I looked like when I went out in public.


Over the rest of the year I went from a size 38 to a size 32 waist. I looked in the mirror and saw the guy that I was in high school…a little older, but still that same guy. The scale said that I weighed 173 pounds…a 105 pound weight loss. From October 2009 to February 2010 I had switched gears from a cynic, to one of the faithful…to a downright believer. I know that by following the plan a person will lose weight. Not just myself—but any person who keeps this plan will lose the weight that they want to lose. If a person wants to lose weight, prove their own inner strength, and improve their over all health, gain self confidence, learn about nutrition and how to care for his body…that is what one can gain by losing. The best part of doing this plan has been the knowledge that I can now pass on to my family and the desire to help others lose what I have lost…so that they can gain what I have gained.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hexelplex Part Deux

I gotta say that I'm not entirely thrilled with how Hexelplex worked out for me. I used an exercise in a book to write it...and it reads just like I used an exercise in a book to write it. I did, however, get some material that I will use in the rewrite (which, I guess, was the whole purpose of that exercise.)

So I am deep in the rewrite process with that poem. To anyone who might anxiously await the next installment for Nanny ToggleBottom's little book...it ain't comin'. Still, here is a litle bit of a bard's tale told from our Guy's Nite Out group (see the 'links [not patties?]' to your right.)

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The Gathering of the Intrepid Three

A typical story, in a typical time,
Of caverns, and monsters, laid out in a rhyme.
A story I’ll tell you, for it happened to me,
A story I’ll tell you, of the Intrepid Three.
For this piece I choose to make a verbal collage,
And to my fellow bards I pay this homage.
And though to you this may seem folly,
I choose the voice of Thomas Babington MaCauley…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Vasha sent out the summons,
Calling adventurers by the score,
The Orb was not in grasp,
And she could abide that no more
Brave men moved to assemble,
As she sought the best of the best.
Men with scarred faces,
Of various races
To send on a mystery quest.
The strange and beautiful Vasha,
Whose motives remain obscured.
The bold and glorious Vasha:
A spirit confident and assured.
To a small village inn,
Great adventurers were invited…
She chose the rockman Sk’orn,
Dark Eeyen, and Thanis of Stelaborn
Three souls of the world united.

“You three are the ones I have chosen,
For your have talents separate and fair.
Sk’orn for the stone, Thanis to charm,
And Eeyen for all else you would dare.
Outside of town is a cave,
A cavern of perils uncharted.
I invoke upon you bravery,
For I deal not with the fainthearted.

“In that cave, deep in the darkness,
A treasure lies underground;
An item to behold,
Of value greater than gold,
Its vast power untold,
Waiting to be found.
Go forth with power and glory.
Seek out with stealth and care.
Though I may seem unkind
Its purpose I must bind
Or the treasure you will not find
Its magic unusual and rare.

“’Tis called the Orb of Denithor,
Its source of power unknown,
Seek ye out this ancient magic
‘Neath the mountain of stone.
Power hides the Orb,
A veil that shrouds the site,
For if you know its purpose
The cave is sealed tight.

“Go forth and find this bauble
Return with it to me
Keep all else you find there
As payment of your fee.”

Sent out by noble Vasha,
Sent on an Herculean chore.
Rode forth the Intrepid Three,
Right anxious were they to see,
The Orb of Denithor.
A task given to their utter glee—
Off on a mysterious charge
To find a treasure at large
A job designed for the Intrepid Three.