ANGST RELAPSE

Have you ever been to a party and thought that it really wouldn’t matter if you weren’t there? Have you ever felt like an spectator…just an observer who does not take part in society? Do you stand on the outside looking in? Do you even want to be included?

These are the queries of my teen-aged angst. I walked around with thoughts like these in my head every day until I was in my twenties. I can recall going to high school, and maybe some select highlights, but mostly its more like a dream I had that I just can’t quite recall. It seems more of a halluciniation than reality today, as they tore down my old school and rebuilt a new one. I can’t even go back to the old hallowed halls and prove to myself that I once went to a place called Lakewood High School.

The new school looks more like a shopping mall than the old red bricked schoolhouse.

I went to my high school reunion last year. They had the obligatory slide show with various yearbook pictures and photos from my senior year. I sat through the show several times…how could I not have any pictures in that show? I was there. I was the manager of the football team in my sophomore year. I was on the speech and debate team during both of my junior and senior years. I played Sonny LaTierre in “Grease.” I played Judge Warwick in “10 Little Indians.” I sang in the choir as well as the show choir. I was in a rock band that played a dance in the fall of
1987. I was on the literary arts magazine staff for three years. I was there.

But I can’t prove it. Sure, I talked to people, but I had to remind most of them of who I was. I have become a stranger in my own life. It’s crazy. I feel like a spectator who watched, but never participated. I could just leave this party and no one would notice.

Here comes the angst again…

VALIDATION

I ran into this short movie a couple of weeks ago...and it is great. Sure, it's 34 minutes long. Still, take the time. I love it.

http://www.flixxy.com/validation-short-film.htm?a=0